Nice Guys

Single's Awareness Day, just another Tuesday... or Valentine's Day, there are a variety of names for the most romantic, and for others the most lonely, commercial holiday; it all depends on your standpoint on love.  For me, it was more than just another Tuesday, in fact, i had THREE mofukin' tests to cram for, meaning it wasn't a normal day.  Basically my February 14th was spent on campus mostly in the library until 9:30 studying like a madwoman.  I do not have a boyfriend, husband, fiance or whatever so... apart from my brain popping, it did not bother me much that my day was spent being a last minute nerd.  However, Kira expressed to me her mortification at the fact that she was spending her last teenage Valentine's Day single... so for her.. it was THE Ultimate Single's Awareness Day... poor girl

Sooooo that was my Tuesday.  Since Valentine's Day is a celebration of "love," Kira and I got thinking about what is love?? wana know? well I believe Kira will be discussing our conclusions in her next post.  If she doesn't, I'll write it, but 'neways on the side, I thought about why I don't find "nice guys" to be my cup of tea.

DISCLAIMER

**I'm not saying being nice is a bad trait so for all you nice people, stay nice!! Its an awesome thing.. but if you want a girl, do nice right.**

So to start I would like to get the fact across that I'm speaking from experience.  This particular experience with this friend will hopefully get the message across.

Back in high school, I had a friend; lets call him Fred.  Fred and I got along very well.  I spoke to him everyday as he sat behind me in class and I said, "hi" to him whenever I saw him.  I was not leading him on, I just saw him as a person, a friend, NOT a guy.  He also seemed comfortable being that way; he never had a girlfriend and didn't SEEM to be looking for one, he hangs out with an equal amount of girls and guys, and he's just a well rounded nice guy.  I can say with certainty, every girl who spoke to him felt the way I did.

So, my classmates were having this conversation about something that was popular at the time, and it just so happened that both of us had never seen it.  In the midst of the excitement, we both said, "Omg we have to see it."  So we did.  Before going, two of my close friends warned me it was like a date, but i shooed away their concerns and went saying, "He's just a friend," and boy was I wrong... it was totally a date and I freaked out.

After that, I became uncomfortable with him.  We were still friends, but it wasn't the same as before.  One moment we were buddies, next a date?  He missed a step in between.  In fact he didn't make it clear it was a date nor did he hint at his intent. (I admit.. I was a little naive... 1guy + 1girl + hangout =.. yeahhhhh)  I guess he just took me by surprise because I didn't feel that intent when we decided to go and going was just in the spur of the moment.

So around prom season, I found out, he was going to ask me, but I absolutely did not want to go with him.  It was awkward.  I mean, the "date" wasn't horrible, but it still left a bad after taste.  I suppose the question I'm supposed to answer for you readers is "why not the nice guy?" Its a weird thing, I guess he was too nice.  Too nice and unisex; I just couldn't imagine him as a guy.  It was a major turn off.  Being the "nice guy" just isn't enough.  There are A TON of nice people with something more to offer than kindness.  You want a girl.. be something more than transparent!!!  Have a presence, confidence, and be more than just nice.  By presence I mean a quality that is unique or defines you as a person.  Looking back, the only trait I can name is that he was nice.  He never spoke about his hobbies, he didn't really say much about anything; he just kept the conversation flow comfortable, and that is why he is labeled "The Nice Guy."


The guy was genuinely nice, but he was too foreign to me, so the date creeped me out.  Being too nice makes it difficult to speak heart to heart or speak your mind because lets face it, not every word that comes out of the average person's mouth is rainbows nd unicorns... so to me, the "nice guy" involves too much tip toeing that I can never feel comfortable.  ITS JUST UNNATURAL TO BE SO GENUINELY NICE... I'm too used to gossipy girls, shallow guys... just average people.  I just want a balance like... nice with a touch of black lol (someone who can relate to the real world).  Basically, the nice guy taking interest in me felt like the equivalent to hearing Michael Jackson's smooth creepy voice when he speaks.  Even if Michael isn't saying anything weird... his voice is too gentle and sends shivers down my spine. IDK I hope you understand this funky metaphor... Kira did.  That was weird... but its exactly the way I felt with Fred.

He is the cursed nice guy.  Unable to get a girl even though there is nothing wrong with him.  Only seen as a friend and nothing else.

So for all you guys who are too nice and wondering whats missing? There is a solution! Well I think you all are great friend material, but a girl looking for love wants a MAN not a awkwardly kind person without genitals.  Its alright to be nice, but if you want a girl, you better BRING OUT YA MANLY SIDE.

<SuNNy>